After watching the reunion I went back to catch up on the
story line and to view what I missed out on. I was truly saddened and slightly
disturbed by what I saw. Women older and younger, loving men who couldn’t love
them enough to heal them but continued to either stay with them or go back and
forth with them not realizing they were digging the wound deeper and making it
next to impossible to be healed properly. The one character I truly felt for
was Erica Mena. People can say what they choose about her but this was my
observation. Here is a young woman, mother, trying to make a name for herself
in the world but carrying around the baggage of abandonment, hurt, pain, abuse,
and all wrapped up in the desire to be loved. Then you have Rich who is a man
who deals with the inability to love truly because he has his own issues with
self and accomplishment from a male perspective so he sees Ms. Mena as someone
who needs and is looking for that love, attention, and the “daddy issues” gives
it to her with a long handed spoon, doesn’t make much sense does it? This cycle
of back and forth of “love” was birthed out of one person looking for something
that they themselves are incapable of giving but took advantage of a situation
of a person who cannot recognize what real, true authentic love looks like, but
recognizes the mirages of what your first love of a Father is supposed to give
but becomes tainted in sex, lies and deceit because the foundation is lust and
selfishness.
Now you have “Love “
in dysfunction in two people who are desperate for healing but do not have the
tools to love for real nor have they taken the time to truly dig through the
pain within themselves to be able to
give and receive love genuinely. So what you have are two people acting out
their wounded hearts onto each other. It
saddens me to see this happen because there are so many people, mainly young
women in this world that are walking around with wounded hearts and broken
pieces and they are in relationships that are not conducive to their condition
so they end up hurting themselves as well as the other person in a cycle that
never ends, and what’s worse is they go from relationship to relationship
building on the hurt and continuously infecting each other and never taking the
time to heal.
Love is the purest condition of the heart that when used and
given in the right way is the best medicine for a broken, hurt and bruised heart.
Love is a word we use and throw around for many reasons but a few of the main
reasons are to get attention from someone we may be connected to, to express
our gratitude to someone and genuine care for another person, or we say it
because it is something to be said during special occasions or worse to get
what we want, which then makes it selfish and love is definitely not selfish. I
think what people are missing is that love is not just an emotion, it is
action. Love is not just something you Give or Say it is something you Do and
Are. The perfect example of love is summed up in these words: Love
is: Patient, Kind, Does not Envy, Does not Boast, Is not Proud, Not Rude, Not
Selfish, Not Easily Angered, Keeps no record of Wrongs, Does not delight in
Evil, Always Rejoices in Truth, Always Protects, Always Trusts and Always Perseveres,
and Never Fails.
If we truly lived out love in this way, many hearts will
heal and be not easily broken. Now do not get me wrong, love can disappoint and
hurt but it is not out of selfishness. We are human beings and are prone to error
but we can choose to not do something or say something or take advantage if
love is really there.
My point: True Love is a healing agent and when used properly
in taking the time to love on yourself first and apply it to the broken and shattered parts
of yourself, you will find that it will be easier for you to recognize real
love (as I type this right now Mary J. Is bumping in the back ground, “Real Love” from the ‘What’s
the 411' album, ironic) and give genuine love from a pure place not out of hurt
and pain. By ignoring your hurts and pains and then piling on new issues, new
hurts and counterfeit “love” on top of what is already damaged and in need of
repair, you will soon realize there is more chaos and unauthentic love
breeding and causing more interior damage which leads to destruction for all
parties involved.
When Real Love comes into play it immediately recognizes the
hurts and sees the vulnerability as either an opportunity to walk away for that
person to be healed and be whole completely or they will put on the gloves to
help to heal instead of taking advantage and adding to the already broken heart.
So In the cases of Erica Mena and Rich, Tahiry
and Joe Budden, Amina, Tara and Peter Gunz, they are all broken people who need
to be healed completely from the inside out. The beauty about love is that if
its for you it will come around to you again and when its true love it covers you
and comforts you in good and bad experiences. My prayer is that they recognize
it and get what they need before connecting to another broken heart. To the
women of the LHHNY, I am sure they know they are valuable but it is one thing
to know it, and another to live like it. Making choices that match how you
really think of yourself. Most of them are mothers and we (I am mother as well
and I am walking in this experience as well) must live the way we desire for
our children to live, be and feel about themselves.
For
the men of LHHNY: love is not just an emotion, it is action. As a man and what
I have learned and continue to experience, do not just say you love a woman and
you are not willing to protect her and provide for her not just physical needs.
Love is NOT sex, intimacy is deeper than being naked without clothing. Men take
this time to really understand what a man is and how love operates in you, for
yourself. Take ownership of love lost in your life and see how that plays out
in your actions and treatment of women as a Grown man in age. Recognize there
are parts of you that are wounded and if you desire to truly love a woman who is
“down for you”, get “down” with yourself and learn what it means to love you first,
nurture that little boy, young man and then you can experience love like you
have never known it before.
Love is what Love Does, and that is Truth. Healing is the
first step to experience Authentic Love for Real.
Stay SXSI, Live SXSI, Be SXSI
Takima
